Beauty After Another Storm

Life and Death.  There are seasons in life when it feels like bad news comes again and again and again.  This is one of those.  It is not all bad.  My friend lost her leg from a freak flesh eating bacteria.  That is hard and strange and shocking but it could have (even should have) been her life instead of her leg.  I am thankful to have her here.  There is so much pain and sickness!  This week I found out that two more family members are sick and it is too much.  I want to be with everyone I love, NOW!  A lifetime is not enough and I feel panicked.  I must choose.  Who to visit, who to live near, who to love and how to decide?  My heart is off careening down the path of throwing all reason to the wind but God is good.  I catch myself and hear the unreasonable thoughts and words.  I call a dear friend who shepherds me through a few moments of the day.

Relief is wonderful!  This day is brighter than the previous one and I am calmer.  I am left pondering how precious life is.  I think about all the things I take for granted.  A voice reminding me of truth and giving comfort on the phone, a tight family, my own good health and the list goes on and ever on.  Shouldn’t this impact how I live?  Right now I see.  I see that these lives we have are precious and fragile and I see hope.  I had the privilege of caring for my friend’s infant daughter last night.  As I woke up with her in the night to feed and love her I was thankful for this new precious life.  I am thankful that she will know her mom and that this time I didn’t lose another friend.

I read a C. S. Lewis quote on Little Boot Liturgies that started me thinking.

The third enemy is fear. War threatens us with death and pain. No man– and specially no Christian who remembers Gethsemane — need try to attain a stoic indifference about these things, but we can guard against the illusions of the imagination. We think of the streets of Warsaw and contrast the deaths there suffered with an abstraction called Life. But there is no question of death or life for any of us, only a question of this death or of that — of a machine gun bullet now or a cancer forty years later. What does war to do to death? It certainly does not make it more frequent; 100 percent of us die, and the percentage cannot be increased.  -(from Learning in War Time by C. S. Lewis)

It is an interesting clash, isn’t it?  Dealing with death and moving on with life: living with hope and mourning death because all within screams in protest: this is not what I was made for!

I’ll close with a quote from War and Peace: “Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs. If there was no suffering, man would not know his limits, would not know himself. ”


*** ps.  Don’t I live in a stunning place?  I don’t even have a good camera but managed to capture that picture after a storm.***

~ by shostagirl on March 30, 2012.

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